Funny things your childhood animals did.

[aRTie02150]

I remember waking up once in the middle of the night to my cat rubbing against my face and purring extremely loud. When I turned on the table light I see a dead sparrow on my bed. She was rolling around meowing excitingly showing it off and I screamed like a little bitch.

My dad ran into the room worried and laughed as he explained it was a gift that the cat wanted me to have.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

I knew this fat faggot who always lied about how badass his cat was. He once claimed his cat stepped on a beaver trap and dragged it a half mile home. I asked him if he'd like to put his arm in one because his story sounded like bullshit. He called me a child and muttered as he walked away

 

[Boq the Lonely Faggot]

I knew this fat faggot who always lied about how badass his cat was. He once claimed his cat stepped on a beaver trap and dragged it a half mile home. I asked him if he'd like to put his arm in one because his story sounded like bullshit. He called me a child and muttered as he walked away

How'd he know the beaver trap was a half mile away?

 

[aRTie02150]

How'd he know the beaver trap was a half mile away?

The cat told him, of course.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

How'd he know the beaver trap was a half mile away?

Dunno I think he was slow

 

[Nick Gerlips]

My cat took a shit in my dad's shoe when I was a kid

 

[Dennyislife]

Had a cat that would wait in the bush out the front of the house just to jump out at one particular dog. A little handbag type dog that was terrified of it. Eventually the owner started walking on the other side of the road as the dog was that scared.

 

[Patrick O'Neal]

I knew this fat faggot who always lied about how badass his cat was. He once claimed his cat stepped on a beaver trap and dragged it a half mile home. I asked him if he'd like to put his arm in one because his story sounded like bullshit. He called me a child and muttered as he walked away

Can confirm - I was the cat!

 

[Dog Eater]

One of our cats went into a neighbour's house, beat the shit out of their cat to the point it needed stitches, ate all of its food then pissed on their son’s guitar.

They were very good about the whole thing because they loved cats, I’d have fucking murdered it if it was me.

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

We had a dog who would only eat her food after she flipped it out of the bowl all over the floor. If you just put it on the floor she wouldn't eat it, but she'd only eat it off the floor. She also refused to drink water out of anything but one crystal bowl. That dog was like my mom's favorite kid lol.

 

[satanssockpuppet]

I had a cat that got glaucoma and went blind, and his eyes would glow all the time. He knew his way around, though, and used to go right outside the front door and hang out in the grass. One day he got a hold of a large praying mantis, and spent the whole afternoon just shredding it to pieces, He had green goo dripping from his chin, and looked really demonic. Great cat though, a lot of class and took no shit from anyone.

 

[BUBBLER]

We had a dog who would only eat her food after she flipped it out of the bowl all over the floor. If you just put it on the floor she wouldn't eat it, but she'd only eat it off the floor. She also refused to drink water out of anything but one crystal bowl. That dog was like my mom's favorite kid lol.

Bet she picked the bones out the tuna when she served it

 

[Single Action Army]

My first dog hit the TV remote and it changed to Animal Planet.

8 years later my second dog hit the remote and it went to Animal Planet again.

Those dog niggas ain't tellin us the whole truth

 

[Rick Roblinson]

When I was like 7 years old we had this big black labrador retriever. Once I was sitting on the couch trying to tie my shoes and she was all in my face sniffing me and being annoying. So I stood up and turned around then pulled my pants down and farted right in her face. She just stood there for like a second before taking off running between every single room in the house while barking like crazy. A few days later my shoes were either chewed up or pissed on I can't remember which now. I just know she retaliated against me.