Today I had an appointment at the bike shop for a small repair and ended up getting a flat tire on the way. I decided to walk and push my bike, a very large ebike, for an hour to the shop. It was getting warm so I got very sweaty and physically drained, and I'm not doing great mentally because of various things in my life, so I was kind of delirious. When I was maybe 15 mins away, I passed a homeless man standing on the sidewalk. I had earbuds in but he saw my flat tire and tried to say something. I always feel bad just straight up ignoring homeless people, so I took out my earbud. I've heard stories about how dehumanizing it is to constantly be ignored. There wouldn't have been a good way to get away from him anyways with my giant incapacitated bike.
He introduced himself as Jeff (I think), and seemed to express some sympathy for me having to deal with the flat tire. He said he was a veteran and hadn't slept in three days, his wife was nearby and they are waiting on a check on monday. He said he wasn't asking for money, he's not a panhandler. But he asked if I could buy him something to eat, and I said okay, but I needed to get to the bike shop first. We kept walking and he was talking about politics, asked me how "the devil" got in office. Not like crazy talk or anything, I entertained it, but personally wasn't really feeling all there. Somehow, he knew I was in college and asked about what I was studying. We passed a group of people and he told them "you're beautiful!" or something. He offered to push my bike up a hill. Overall, just seemed like an honest guy down on his luck. We walked together for 10-15 mins.
Somehow, he did end up asking for money. I don't know how, but in my state of mind, I completely forgot that he'd originally just asked for me to buy him a meal. He said that he'd give me his phone number and pay me back when he got the check. I said, no need. For some reason I agreed to give him money. Near the bike shop was a gas station with an ATM where he led me. So I was like, how much do you need? He said $70, there was a reason for that specific amount but I don't remember. I hesitated but then I thought, I'm having a bad day but he's got it way worse. I'm not super strapped for cash at the moment. I left my bike outside with him because it's not like he could run away with a 75 pount ebike with a flat tire, and the ATM was right beside the door where I could see him. The ATM only had $20 bills, though, so I got $60. I gave it to him and he begged me for another $20. Like, in my face uncomfortablely close. I was ready to just be done with this guy, so I went and got another 20. When he got the money in his hands, he just walked away. I don't remember if he even said thank you. And he didn't give me his phone number to "repay" me anyways.
I realized then I'd probably been played. If he was really appreciative, he might have walked with me to the bike shop or just continued talking. He might have lied about everything. Bro was probably a master manipulator and did this all the time when someone agreed to buy him food. I really hope he didn't spend it on anything bad. He didn't seem like he was on drugs or drunk but you never know. I was just trying to be nice. I texted my friends what happened, and they basically called me stupid (rightfully so). I was in a bad head space and it seems my rational thinking was impaired.
I genuinely do feel bad for the homeless. I usually don't give money to them because I don't carry cash and if I did give money to everyone who asked I'd go broke. But this guy has ruined my trust in anyone trying to be nice. How am I supposed to tell? Am I just an idiot?
This situation was basically my breaking point for all the stress I've felt recently. I cried for the first time in 3 years after going to the bike shop. I guess you gotta pretend to be nice to survive when you live off of other people's kindness. But $80 is a lot for me too. I'm just a 20 year old guy in college with an income of $200ish per week. I feel taken advantage of.
TL;DR homeless guy sweet talked me into helping him out, only to turn away once I gave him a stupid amount of money ($70)
