Do you have more than $1,000 in your checking account?

[Brooke Shields]

I was screenshotting a Patrick tweet on a browser that I don't use (so no adblock).

Naturally I came across an ad targeted at Patrick's demographic (gay, retarded, horrible with saving).
I never see ads so I was intrigued, was a little disappointed that it was just 5 ads in an ad but I guess that's how these work.

Let's see what marketers think would be appealing to Fatrick types.

Seems like something Fatrick would mock because he found out about it late, but also something so stupid that he'd find out about it early.
As retarded as this^ is, it's still an investment, so Fatrick would not have done it.

So "cancel" car insurance to get a cheaper one. I doubt Fatrick has insurance considering he doesn't drive anywhere so this isn't a money saver for Fatso.

Sounds terrific. Hopefully they can't freeze you from managing your stocks...
Again, an investment so this is a NO from Patso.

At least this one doesn't seem like a scam. Just a service that will make money on their ads or something goofy.

Sounds a little too good to be true, also sounds like a faggot fragment Fatrick would say.

Instead of paying off your 5 debts with their interest separated, take a big loan to pay them all off! It's okay because this loan's interest is so much lower, forget about the amount being so much higher, math is for morons



Quasi is never going to get close to his full amount owed, Patrick is too dumb

 

[guest]

When it goes under 5k is when I get nervous

 

[chocolatehellhole]

non mogul ass niggas

 

[Brooke Shields]

When it goes under 5k is when I get nervous

I interpreted this article as if they have 1k overall, based on the first sentence:

 

[Heyfellas]

I usually give myself that much to blow on whatever between checks.

Patrick is poor

 

[guest]

How's it going, Mr. IRS sir?

and no, I have like 50 bucks in there to avoid fees

FUCK YOUR W-2. I pay CASH