Conan the Barbarian (1982)

[Feehan's Fart Box]

Any other brothermen fans of it? For me it's an all-timer, one of my favorite movies. Arnold is basically a wild animal in it and has about 5 lines of dialogue, great fucking sets and cinematography, James Earl Jones is great as Thulsa Doom, Sandahl Bergman looking fine, and probably my favorite movie score of all time by Basil Poledouris. I know Conan purists and Robert E. Howard fans don't hold it in that high regard, but I've never read any of the source material. Robert E. Howard's life was pretty interesting though, from what I've read (Nice tragic life, oedipal complex, and shooting yourself at 30, stupid).

So many great scenes, but one that always makes me laugh is when Arnie is layin' pipe to the witch in her hovel and she transforms into a demon and he tosses her demonic ass into a pit of fire.

It also has one of the best commentaries I've ever heard, up there with Arnold's commentary with Paul Verhoeven on Total Recall.


It's too bad John Milius never really did much beyond the 80s. Conan the Destroyer sucked ass, but I'll still watch it for some goofy fun like when he fights a guy dressed in a Halloween shop gorilla mask . Watched the 2011 one once when it came out, but I thought it blew.

Nice diatribe about a movie from 1982, stupid.

 

[Carl Winslow]

I read some of the books. I like them because you can read them In one sitting and it’s mostly “pulp”. Non of that jRR token fag shit.

 

[Stent]

I love that movie. I was just the right gay age to watch it the first time. There's no way it should all come together but somehow it does. I wouldn't try to defend it as an all time great film, but for the genre it's right up there. Minimal dialogue but some stuff that you can quote and every dork knows exactly what you're talking about.

The soundtrack is amazing.

Red Sonja also gets a tip of the hat.

 

[Feehan's Fart Box]

I love that movie. I was just the right gay age to watch it the first time. There's no way it should all come together but somehow it does. I wouldn't try to defend it as an all time great film, but for the genre it's right up there. Minimal dialogue but some stuff that you can quote and every dork knows exactly what you're talking about.

The soundtrack is amazing.

Red Sonja also gets a tip of the hat.

Yeah, I saw it way too young on VHS and it stuck with me. Had the most tits and fucking of any movie I had seen at that point. I am pretty partial to these cheesy 80s fantasy movies. I even enjoy goofy horseshit like Krull which was a weird Star Wars meets Excalibur rip off. I think the first Conan is one of the best of that genre. Ridley Scott's Legend watch pretty good too. Need to give Red Sonja a rewatch.

 

[Stent]

Yeah, I saw it way too young on VHS and it stuck with me. Had the most tits and fucking of any movie I had seen at that point. I am pretty partial to these cheesy 80s fantasy movies. I even enjoy goofy horseshit like Krull which was a weird Star Wars meets Excalibur rip off. I think the first Conan is one of the best of that genre. Ridley Scott's Legend watch pretty good too. Need to give Red Sonja a rewatch.

Krull is pretty cool. It's weird enough to be its own thing. Excalibur I still enjoy too. I kinda like how Conan The Destroyer was garbage compared to the first. They struck gold with the first one and the second just fails at every turn.

Willow was another blatant Star Wars rip off and, aside from a few midget laughs, it sadly doesn't hold up even as a bad movie for me.

 

[Feehan's Fart Box]

Krull is pretty cool. It's weird enough to be its own thing. Excalibur I still enjoy too. I kinda like how Conan The Destroyer was garbage compared to the first. They struck gold with the first one and the second just fails at every turn.

Willow was another blatant Star Wars rip off and, aside from a few midget laughs, it sadly doesn't hold up even as a bad movie for me.

I think if Milius had made Destroyer it could have had potential, but yeah, they made it this family friendly bullshit. Feels totally neutered compared to the first one, PG vs R. Willow I still enjoy, but I'm sure it's mostly nostalgia. There's admittedly nothing that special about it, some decent late 80s ILM effects and stuff, but very derivative.

 

[Maybe even kiss you]

It's pretty cool, and the soundtrack is a mainstay at the JerZBorn house.

What most Howard readers dislike about the movie is that Conan seems pretty stupid. In the stories he's highly intelligent but not well-educated, which makes him an interesting contrast to civilized people.

 

[Maybe even kiss you]

I even like this faggot ass romance movie with Pvt Pyle as Howard.

 

[Feehan's Fart Box]

I even like this faggot ass romance movie with Pvt Pyle as Howard.

Haha, yeah I saw that. I remember it being decent.