(Classroom Instructional Material) Three Years of Alcoholism on Your Face

[bovinebrain]

Before:

After:

He’s 41 years old and has more wrinkles and chins than my 64 year old dad. We should register Rick for some AA meetings, he won’t be alive much longer if he keeps up the alcohol consumption.

 

[AwfulManTitTankTop]

Rick in an AA meeting would be so fucking funny.

"No, child, my life is manageable, as is my drinking."

"No, child, I do not believe in sky daddy. He will not cure me of a problem I do not have."

"Little baby infant child, I have no amends to make, I have done no wrong, because I am a responsible drinker, unlike you, who is weak."

"I am the epitome of morality, child. I believe all the correct things already. There is nothing to take inventory of because I already have it all."

"You want me to be your sponsor? It is not my job to educate you, child. I'm sorry you're so stupid, I can't help you."

"I only came for the chips, child, where ate they?"

 

[guest]

Rick in an AA meeting would be so fucking funny.

"No, child, my life is manageable, as is my drinking."

"No, child, I do not believe in sky daddy. He will not cure me of a problem I do not have."

"Little baby infant child, I have no amends to make, I have done no wrong, because I am a responsible drinker, unlike you, who is weak."

"I am the epitome of morality, child. I believe all the correct things already. There is nothing to take inventory of because I already have it all."

"You want me to be your sponsor? It is not my job to educate you, child. I'm sorry you're so stupid, I can't help you."

"I only came for the chips, child, where ate they?"

"There is no higher power, child."

 

[guest]

All he had to do, was leave the alcohol alone. I really hope he remembers that. He'll have plenty of time to remember in the liver cancer ward.

 

[42069]

That is alarming. We’ve aged him low end 15 years high end 30. He should see this and throw his phone away and ween off booze

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Rick in an AA meeting would be so fucking funny.

"No, child, my life is manageable, as is my drinking."

"No, child, I do not believe in sky daddy. He will not cure me of a problem I do not have."

"Little baby infant child, I have no amends to make, I have done no wrong, because I am a responsible drinker, unlike you, who is weak."

"I am the epitome of morality, child. I believe all the correct things already. There is nothing to take inventory of because I already have it all."

"You want me to be your sponsor? It is not my job to educate you, child. I'm sorry you're so stupid, I can't help you."

"I only came for the chips, child, where ate they?"

“No, I’m not drinking in the meeting, child. Those are just your delusions.”

 

[Sputnik]

They’d rewrite the big book just to exclude him from future meetings. He’s that reprehensible.

 

[Easily_Remembered]

It doesn't even look like the same person. That's insane. This is what life without the blue checkmark does to the body. Heartbreaking.

 

[SmellenShoehorn]

I don't think he could make it up 12 physical steps at this point

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

You say he'd be adversarial in AA meetings but in some ways he's actually the ideal candidate; he's already been in a cult (scientology) & is also willing to rationalise & argue nonsense just to conform with a group ideology. He'd also love to have a captive audience where he can embellish stories where he's the main character.

 

[potatopeeler63]

It would be a mexican standoff between morton and rick

oh yea, baby boy? Whaddya think, you’re an actual tough guy?

yessss chowld. I am an *actual tough guy*. I’ve been in plenty of barfights and am a trained bbj martial artist and certified firearms instructor. But you do you, honey.
Little. Baby. infant.

you’re just a fuuuuuuucking scuuuuumbag, genuinely. Why don’t you get a shotgun with a toe-trigger attachment and use it, you fucking zilch.

ohhhhhh little. Baby. Child. I am heavily armed to the teeth but a shotgun isn’T one of them. I’m sorry you’re so, cripplingly, stupid.

Really? Im stupid, stupid? Shut your fuckin mouth and go play in traffic, i fuck hookers for a living and trust me, sweetie, they wouldn’t fuck you if you lost 50lbs, fatty arbuckle.
*looks around room snorting laughing*


Bzzzt. Wrong again chowld. I have bi-monthly access to my wife’s pussy, but your delusions and lies are. Your. Entire. World.
please get the help you so desperately need.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

It would be a mexican standoff between morton and rick

oh yea, baby boy? Whaddya think, you’re an actual tough guy?

yessss chowld. I am an *actual tough guy*. I’ve been in plenty of barfights and am a trained bbj martial artist and certified firearms instructor. But you do you, honey.
Little. Baby. infant.

you’re just a fuuuuuuucking scuuuuumbag, genuinely. Why don’t you get a shotgun with a toe-trigger attachment and use it, you fucking zilch.

ohhhhhh little. Baby. Child. I am heavily armed to the teeth but a shotgun isn’T one of them. I’m sorry you’re so, cripplingly, stupid.

Really? Im stupid, stupid? Shut your fuckin mouth and go play in traffic, i fuck hookers for a living and trust me, sweetie, they wouldn’t fuck you if you lost 50lbs, fatty arbuckle.
*looks around room snorting laughing*


Bzzzt. Wrong again chowld. I have bi-monthly access to my wife’s pussy, but your delusions and lies are. Your. Entire. World.
please get the help you so desperately need.

I wonder if a good Norton 'baby boyy, etc' soundboard might give Rick a taste of his own medicine

 

[TheGhostOfAbeVigoda]

His face used to be too wide for his head and now his fat head is too wide for his huge face.

 

[JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler]

Before:

View attachment 13767


After:

View attachment 13768


He’s 41 years old and has more wrinkles and chins than my 64 year old dad. We should register Rick for some AA meetings, he won’t be alive much longer if he keeps up the alcohol consumption.

Nice Jim traficant hair, stupid

 

[kingship75]

Nice Jim traficant hair, stupidView attachment 13787

Beam me up, child.

 

[stealthygeek]

I've mentioned before that I've cut back on drinking specifically because I don't want to be like Patso. Just had a doctor's appointment yesterday and was surprised to see that I've lost 22 pounds over the past year just because of this.

You're an inspiration, Fatrick. My natural repulsion to your existence inspired me to live a healthier lifestyle and be less fat (like you. You're fat).

 

[Harry Powell]

I've mentioned before that I've cut back on drinking specifically because I don't want to be like Patso. Just had a doctor's appointment yesterday and was surprised to see that I've lost 22 pounds over the past year just because of this.

You're an inspiration, Fatrick. My natural repulsion to your existence inspired me to live a healthier lifestyle and be less fat (like you. You're fat).

With zero hyperbole, this place has made me physically and morally better.

 

[Slackjawed Cow]

You say he'd be adversarial in AA meetings but in some ways he's actually the ideal candidate; he's already been in a cult (scientology) & is also willing to rationalise & argue nonsense just to conform with a group ideology. He'd also love to have a captive audience where he can embellish stories where he's the main character.

Pats ego wouldnt let him get past the submit and acceptance phase.

 

[LockedHDD__Pot]

Pats ego wouldnt let him get past the submit and acceptance phase.

I generally think you're right but he has been known to flip his beliefs on their head to suit the situation. It'd be funny if he was court-ordered to go to a program, he'd definitely resist & fight against it & hopefully publicly disparage the program & get sent back to court

 

[Jim Norton’s Wife's Cock]

Pat’s metamorphosis over the past decade has been insane. He has looked like 3-4 different people, i guess this is his final form.