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Torque’sHeadBump

(Voluntarily) torqued boomer
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63,487
366ADA86-E436-42E5-8DAC-D3242D809346.jpeg
The only bull you encounter is the one who comes over every night to satisfy your ugly, barrel-chested wife, fatso.
 

JesseTheGovernor

Access to the Debates
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7,300
As a kid I knew a big, fat retarded guy that the neighbourhood kids called “Mall Andy” who would hang out at, you guessed it, the local mall. He was basically an enormous version of George Costanza, but also retarded. He would flick and twitch his fingers constantly, mumble to himself, get caught cranking it in the movie theatre and mall bathrooms.

One time he was standing outside the theatre just staring at me. I was wearing a red baseball hat. He just kept staring at me so I said “what, Andy?” and he says “I am going to break every bone in your body”. I said now why would you wanna do that Andy and he started going off about how red hats “offend the angels” and how he has to destroy me to preserve a link between himself and the angels, and how the demons are with me.

Much like Mall Andy, Fat Pat is a portly, delusional retard who threatens people over the colour of their hat like an emotional, reactionary woman.
 
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JoeBrotheChildSpitGuzzler

Grand Cyclops of the Digital Ku Klux Klan
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48,692
As a kid I knew a big, fat retarded guy that the neighbourhood kids called “Mall Andy” who would hang out at, you guessed it, the local mall. He was basically an enormous version of George Costanza, but also retarded. He would flick and twitch his fingers constantly, mumble to himself, get caught cranking it in the movie theatre and mall bathrooms.

One time he was standing outside the theatre just staring at me. I was wearing a red baseball hat. He just kept staring at me so I said “what, Andy?” and he says “I am going to break every bone in your body”. I said now why would you wanna do that Andy and he started going off about how red hats “offend the angels” and how he has to destroy me to preserve a link between himself and the angels, and how the demons are with me.

Much like Mall Andy, Fat Pat is a portly, delusional retard who threatens people over the colour of their hat like an emotional, reactionary woman.
Retarded Andy still had a better logic than Pat
 

Will Tate

Oven March
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42,262
If he saw a guy with a red hat in Hooligans he would take a picture and post it with some made up story reminiscent of the biker scene in Bronx Tale.
"See this guy? It was his last moment of peace before I walked up and told him that little red ballcap of his wasn't welcome here in Hooligan's, or Milwaukee, or America. He got up and left right after."
Meanwhile none of that would happen besides Pat posting the guy's pic and shit-talking online while that dude in the 49ers cap sat there undisturbed, because Pat is a fat do-nothing pussy who wouldn't dare act the way he does online in a real-world setting.
 
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