Anyone here safely believe they're a good person and going to heaven?

[Professor Rape]

Sigh, it's a tough one man. On one hand I'd like to think so, but hubris is a sin and as Proverbs 16:5 states, "The LORD detests all the proud of heart."

As a devout Catholic, good works alone will not "buy" your way into heaven. You need both good works and faith. So it would be more appropriate to say "I have faith I will be accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven."

Whats good works mean, explain to folksh at home

 

[SensibleKeks]

Whats good works mean, explain to folksh at home

Being a moral person who performs good acts adhering to the teachings of the bible.

 

[Professor Rape]

Being a moral person who performs good acts adhering to the teachings of the bible.

Whats an example

Don't use something you've done coz then its a sin right. Like bragging. Use an example someone else has done.

 

[PickleRickle]

I've really gotta stop posting here lol

That one is absolutely fawkin brutal cause by the time you panic scroll to the end of it theres literally cum everywhere.

 

[WifeStoreWill]

No

 

[PickleRickle]

I've got till I die to redeem myself. I've got enough of dat T left to make things right with the Big Guy.

 

[Professor Rape]

I've got till I die to redeem myself. I've got enough of dat T left to make things right with the Big Guy.

you've got until the people who you've wronged die... you gotta make amends with them. talk to your elders.

 

[johnnynoname]

There is “something else” after this.

Don’t know what it is.

This is the mystery of faith

 

[Professor Rape]

There is “something else” after this.

Don’t know what it is.

This is the mystery of faith

you will reincarnate on the set of ALF

as the character......................

Spoiler

mr ochmonek, the neighbor

 

[PickleRickle]

you've got until the people who you've wronged die... you gotta make amends with them. talk to your elders.

The only person I have ever wronged in my life is this one black kid who's Pokemon cards ended up in my pocket. I still feel bad about that. I just had to catch 'em all, even if it meant robbing and stealing. I was just a child, though.

 

[Professor Rape]

The only person I have ever wronged in my life is this one black kid who's Pokemon cards ended up in my pocket. I still feel bad about that. I just had to catch 'em all, even if it meant robbing and stealing. I was just a child, though.

I really needed those energy cards. Sniff.

 

[PickleRickle]

I really needed those energy cards. Sniff.

I think I kike'd all of his shinies. It was a racist attack, too. As a child, I just didnt think that black kid deserved those cards. It just wasnt right. They belonged to me. Manifest Destiny, y'know?

 

[johnnynoname]

you will reincarnate on the set of ALF

as the character......................

Spoiler

mr ochmonek, the neighbor

With the cigar.

“Hey Willie- would you mind not breathing on my neck while I fix your lawn mower”

 

[JoeCumiawearsDIAPERS]

Depends on what the situation is. Old Testament Jehovah type God? Yeah not happening. I’d probably not even try to pitch my case as I’d get popped for breaking a few commandments like taking his name in vain and breaking the sabbath. Shit, torrenting movies and music alone was probably enough to get me a one way ticket to eternal damnation.

New Testament Lord type God? I really like my chances. I’ve got a pretty clean record and got a few good people to bat for me up there. I’m thinking I’ll bang out a couple hundred years of purgatory and then be in like flint.

 

[johnnynoname]

I know that Goddess Christina will be waiting for me

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

I know that Goddess Christina will be waiting for me

That bitch is so ugly, she looks like a retarded Mowry sister

 

[johnnynoname]

That bitch is so ugly, she looks like a retarded Mowry sister

Big Lenny finna gonna yell at you like he yelled at Bard.

 

[Dummy Gaynuts]

Big Lenny finna gonna yell at you like he yelled at Bard.

 

[ミスタースパーコル]

Shit, torrenting movies and music alone was probably enough to get me a one way ticket to eternal damnation.

Pirating media might be the most anti-semetic thing a man could do.

 

[aRTie02150]

No.

They probably have issues with crows in heaven so I wouldn't like the place.

Hell loves crows and I could be in charge of making sure they're fed PROPERLY and not just getting bread.