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A PCJ Thanksgiving

Gay Faggot.

When the frying pan hits just right.
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77,286
It was a gloomy Wisconsin morning. The weather was slightly warmer than usual. So much so, omega males, could be happy sharing their worthless pictures on the internet. While pontificating over the same, trite drivel, they themselves have no business understanding.

Jon, in his well kept, modest home, is packing away spotted cows in his cooler for the guys. ESPN blaring in the background about the packers game of the day. Adrienne comes through putting her earrings on. Jon smirks at how beautiful she is. “Truly my queen.” He thinks to himself.

Adrienne looks up at Jon, she’s clearly worried for the busy day at hand.

“Jon, are the kids up and getting ready?” Ade says as she begins packing the ingredients she needs for dinner.

“The boys are getting dressed as we speak, Ade. Belle should be too. You need to relax, everything is going to be fine.” Jon said in his calm, reassuring voice.

“You know how my mom is Jon. How am I supposed to not be worried? You know she’s going to make me do everything, then say everything is bad.” Ade says exasperated.

“Ade, no one is going to think it’s bad. Everyone loves your cooking. Lord knows I do.” Jon smacks his gut, and smiles at Ade.

Ade smiles back and begins to walk back to check in on the kids. The doorbell rings. “It’s 9AM, on Thanksgiving. Who the hell could this be?” Jon thinks to himself as he gets up and walks to the door.

As Jon opens the door he sees a familiar, bloated face. He is shocked and gets ready for a fight. “Patrick what are you doing here? It’s Thanksgiving. You should be with your family. Not at my doorstep, asking for an ass kicking.”

A 5’9, 275lbs pig man, is in tears at Jon’s door. There is a history that will not be forgotten between them. The obese man, named “Patrick”, begins to speak, with his lip quivering. In a pained, distressed voice.

“Jon, I want see Annabelle. I want to see my daughter. I’m her father. I have a right to see my daughter!”

Jon skeptical, ready for a fight. “Patrick, you gave up your rights. Ade and I tried to include you in her life, and you shot everything down. Now, you’re at my doorstep, 10 years later, on Thanksgiving Day no less. Get the fuck out of here. Don’t you have your own family? Leave us alone.”

“I know I made mistakes. I was arrogant and stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. I just want to start fresh. I want to be apart of her life. I’ve realized my life is meaningless without being apart of my child’s life.”

Jon is puzzled. He is gazing at a defeated, pig shaped man. A completely different person than he knew before. Jon is a caring man, not often to a fault, but he can be. He is unaware of the mistake he is going to make.

“Patrick, I’m not sure what to say. We agree. It’s important for you to be apart of her life. I guess it’s the holiday, because I don’t think this is right, but we’ll figure something out. My number hasn’t changed. I will unblock you. Sober up, and call me in a couple of weeks. We’ll arrange a couple days before Christmas you can spend with Annabelle and the family. Today, just go home and spend time with your family. Have a good Thanksgiving.” Jon then reaches out his hand. Patrick still fat, and in tears, reaches his hand out as well. Jon nearly crushes Patrick’s weak, faggot hands. Patrick begins to walk to his V6 mustang.

Then, as if you realized you were being catfished by the people you were suing, Patrick changes his tone. He takes on a fake persona. Something only a retarded faggot would think sounds tough. Something you would pretend to be on twitter. Something a 9 year old would laugh at, and call a faggot as he walks by. He gathers the courage, wiping the tears from his 3rd chin, and walks back to the door. Jon is back inside, still surprised by that interaction.

Ade comes in and asks Jon, “Who was that? Did they know it’s Thanksgiving?”.

Jon replies “It’s nobody Ade, just a guy going from door to door, letting people know the soup kitchen is serving turkey.”.

“But why would they come here? No one in this neighborhood can’t afford a thanksgiving dinner.” Ade is ready to begin an inquisition.

“I don’t know Ade. I didn’t ask. I still have to load up the car. We got stuff to do. I can’t ask some volunteer a million questions.”

“It’s just so weir-“ A fat pounding on the door reverberates through the house.

“Just wait there, Ade. I’ll handle this.” Jon, fists clenched and head held high, walks to the door and swings it open. The fat pig man nearly falls over as he opens it.

“NooooOooo, child. I will not wait to see my daughter. I will see her now. I will take her back to my house, and she will live with my wife and me. She is not yours to keep, little infant baby child.” Patrick is speaking in some weird, attempt at being condescending voice. Truly a fat psychopath.

“Patrick, what are you doing? Are you sure you want to do this? You’re drunk, you need to go home.” Jon pushes Patrick back, his hands getting covered in grease in the process. Jon slams the door shut, and gets in Patrick’s face.

“Your mouth, child. It keeps doing this thing. This thing where it’s moving. I’ve got an idea. How about you SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” Patrick is visibly proud of himself for his idea of what a tough guy would say. Jon is not amused. Jon grabs Patrick, turns him around and forcibly pushes him to his V6 girl car. Jon swings the door open and throws Patrick in. Like something you would see in a cartoon.

“You ever come to my property, you ever speak to someone in my family, or you ever speak to me like that again, I will beat the ever living fuck out of you. You’re a disgusting pig, and it’s legal to shoot wild boars. Get the fuck off my property.” Jon slams Patrick’s girl door shut and walks back to the house. He looks up and sees Ade in the window. She quickly moves away, but Jon knows she saw the whole thing. Patrick gets out of the car, and Jon turns around to fight. Patrick fatly runs 2 steps and grabs his sandal that fell off. He gets back in his V6 Prius and drives away, crying and farting.

Jon re-enters the home, where Adrienne is waiting for him.

“I’m sorry you had to see that Ade. I screwed up. I thought he changed. I should have kicked his ass just for ringing the bell.” Jon is upset with himself, feeling as if he let down his family.

“Jon, you did nothing wrong. That was amazing. It’s like a Thanksgiving miracle. If you can do that, I think I can cook with my mother.” Ade is absolutely glowing. She couldn’t be more excited about how masculine her husband is. Just another reassurance amongst millions, she made the right choice.

“Well, let’s get the car loaded.”

“We’ve got a couple of hours Jon. I think I heard a creak in our bedroom. You should check it out.” Ade is smiling as she grabs Jon’s arm and drags him to their bedroom. Jon wins another battle, and he got the girl.
 
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potatopeeler63

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Ace Orenstein

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It was a gloomy Wisconsin morning. The weather was slightly warmer than usual. So much so, omega males, could be happy sharing their worthless pictures on the internet. While pontificating over the same, trite drivel, they themselves have no business understanding.

Jon, in his well kept, modest home, is packing away spotted cows in his cooler for the guys. ESPN blaring in the background about the packers game of the day. Adrienne comes through putting her earrings on. Jon smirks at how beautiful she is. “Truly my queen.” He thinks to himself.

Adrienne looks up at Jon, she’s clearly worried for the busy day at hand.

“Jon, are the kids up and getting ready?” Ade says as she begins packing the ingredients she needs for dinner.

“The boys are getting dressed as we speak, Ade. Belle should be too. You need to relax, everything is going to be fine.” Jon said in his calm, reassuring voice.

“You know how my mom is Jon. How am I supposed to not be worried? You know she’s going to make me do everything, then say everything is bad.” Ade says exasperated.

“Ade, no one is going to think it’s bad. Everyone loves your cooking. Lord knows I do.” Jon smacks his gut, and smiles at Ade.

Ade smiles back and begins to walk back to check in on the kids. The doorbell rings. “It’s 9AM, on Thanksgiving. Who the hell could this be?” Jon thinks to himself as he gets up and walks to the door.

As Jon opens the door he sees a familiar, bloated face. He is shocked and gets ready for a fight. “Patrick what are you doing here? It’s Thanksgiving. You should be with your family. Not at my doorstep, asking for an ass kicking.”

A 5’9, 275lbs pig man, is in tears at Jon’s door. There is a history that will not be forgotten between them. The obese man, named “Patrick”, begins to speak, with his lip quivering. In a pained, distressed voice.

“Jon, I want see Annabelle. I want to see my daughter. I’m her father. I have a right to see my daughter!”

Jon skeptical, ready for a fight. “Patrick, you gave up your rights. Ade and I tried to include you in her life, and you shot everything down. Now, you’re at my doorstep, 10 years later, on Thanksgiving Day no less. Get the fuck out of here. Don’t you have your own family? Leave us alone.”

“I know I made mistakes. I was arrogant and stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. I just want to start fresh. I want to be apart of her life. I’ve realized my life is meaningless without being apart of my child’s life.”

Jon is puzzled. He is gazing at a defeated, pig shaped man. A completely different person than he knew before. Jon is a caring man, not often to a fault, but he can be. He is unaware of the mistake he is going to make.

“Patrick, I’m not sure what to say. We agree. It’s important for you to be apart of her life. I guess it’s the holiday, because I don’t think this is right, but we’ll figure something out. My number hasn’t changed. I will unblock you. Sober up, and call me in a couple of weeks. We’ll arrange a couple days before Christmas you can spend with Annabelle and the family. Today, just go home and spend time with your family. Have a good Thanksgiving.” Jon then reaches out his hand. Patrick still fat, and in tears, reaches his hand out as well. Jon nearly crushes Patrick’s weak, faggot hands. Patrick begins to walk to his V6 mustang.

Then, as if you realized you were being catfished by the people you were suing, Patrick changes his tone. He takes on a fake persona. Something only a retarded faggot would think sounds tough. Something you would pretend to be on twitter. Something a 9 year old would laugh at, and call a faggot as he walks by. He gathers the courage, wiping the tears from his 3rd chin, and walks back to the door. Jon is back inside, still surprised by that interaction.

Ade comes in and asks Jon, “Who was that? Did they know it’s Thanksgiving?”.

Jon replies “It’s nobody Ade, just a guy going from door to door, letting people know the soup kitchen is serving turkey.”.

“But why would they come here? No one in this neighborhood can’t afford a thanksgiving dinner.” Ade is ready to begin an inquisition.

“I don’t know Ade. I didn’t ask. I still have to load up the car. We got stuff to do. I can’t ask some volunteer a million questions.”

“It’s just so weir-“ A fat pounding on the door reverberates through the house.

“Just wait there, Ade. I’ll handle this.” Jon, fists clenched and head held high, walks to the door and swings it open. The fat pig man nearly falls over as he opens it.

“NooooOooo, child. I will not wait to see my daughter. I will see her now. I will take her back to my house, and she will live with my wife and me. She is not yours to keep, little infant baby child.” Patrick is speaking in some weird, attempt at being condescending voice. Truly a fat psychopath.

“Patrick, what are you doing? Are you sure you want to do this? You’re drunk, you need to go home.” Jon pushes Patrick back, his hands getting covered in grease in the process. Jon slams the door shut, and gets in Patrick’s face.

“Your mouth, child. It keeps doing this thing. This thing where it’s moving. I’ve got an idea. How about you SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!” Patrick is visibly proud of himself for his idea of what a tough guy would say. Jon is not amused. Jon grabs Patrick, turns him around and forcibly pushes him to his V6 girl car. Jon swings the door open and throws Patrick in. Like something you would see in a cartoon.

“You ever come to my property, you ever speak to someone in my family, or you ever speak to me like that again, I will beat the ever living fuck out of you. You’re a disgusting pig, and it’s legal to shoot wild boars. Get the fuck off my property.” Jon slams Patrick’s girl door shut and walks back to the house. He looks up and sees Ade in the window. She quickly moves away, but Jon knows she saw the whole thing. Patrick gets out of the car, and Jon turns around to fight. Patrick fatly runs 2 steps and grabs his sandal that fell off. He gets back in his V6 Prius and drives away, crying and farting.

Jon re-enters the home, where Adrienne is waiting for him.

“I’m sorry you had to see that Ade. I screwed up. I thought he changed. I should have kicked his ass just for ringing the bell.” Jon is upset with himself, feeling as if he let down his family.

“Jon, you did nothing wrong. That was amazing. It’s like a Thanksgiving miracle. If you can do that, I think I can cook with my mother.” Ade is absolutely glowing. She couldn’t be more excited about how masculine her husband is. Just another reassurance amongst millions, she made the right choice.

“Well, let’s get the car loaded.”

“We’ve got a couple of hours Jon. I think I heard a creak in our bedroom. You should check it out.” Ade is smiling as she grabs Jon’s arm and drags him to their bedroom. Jon wins another battle, and he got the girl.
You faggots are doing fan fiction now? Great
 
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