A collection of pictures from Patrick's years of training BJJ, Aikido and Krav Maga

[HotDogJoe]

Oh wait, there's not a single one.

Delusional pig

 

[Guyincognito]

Doncha hate it when there is an entire photo catalogue of you getting cucked, but 0 photos of your marksman, lifeguard and fighting career?

Happens to me all da time

Holy shit. He also claimed to be a lifeguard? This dude is a 13 year old. Was he also in the green berets, but can’t tell us where he served because it’s still classified?

 

[Guyincognito]

Doncha hate it when there is an entire photo catalogue of you getting cucked, but 0 photos of your marksman, lifeguard and fighting career?

Happens to me all da time

Maybe by lifeguard he meant he was a flotation device

 

[guest]

Holy shit. He also claimed to be a lifeguard? This dude is a 13 year old. Was he also in the green berets, but can’t tell us where he served because it’s still classified?

He has two confirmed kills as a lifeguard.

 

[guest]

Holy shit. He also claimed to be a lifeguard? This dude is a 13 year old. Was he also in the green berets, but can’t tell us where he served because it’s still classified?

He literally claimed to have sewn a person's leg together with dental floss and a basketball needle, and to have performed CPR twice which resulted in both patients dying

 

[HotDogJoe]

He literally claimed to have sewn a person's leg together with dental floss and a basketball needle, and to have performed CPR twice which resulted in both patients dying

Patrick 'Kiss of Death' Tomlinson.

Lay still, child. I will now perform CPR on you...

 

[Will Tate]

 

[FurBurger]

Oh wait, there's not a single one.

Really? That's very strange, because he documents every single moment of his life in agonising detail.

The other thing that's missing is the half dozen or so half-marathons he's run. Remember how he used to brag about his times? The only one that shows up anywhere on the internet is the one @CarolMaxheinie found, in which he somehow missed two timing check points in a manner suggesting he's taken a short cut and cheated.

Also he was dressed like a fat guy who'd never exercised in his life, rugged up way too warm for the race; unlike everyone in the photos around him.

I can't imagine how angry they were at themselves for dressing appropriately.

 

[HotDogJoe]

Really? That's very strange, because he documents every single moment of his life in agonising detail.

I agree that it is very strange, especially considering he's not the type of person to even wait until he's gotten some competency at a skill before showing it off. Behold, his famous beef wellington...

This being the case, you'd think if he'd built up any degree of competency in BJJ, even if it was getting to blue or purple belt, it's something he would have shown off multiple times over the years. You would imagine there'd be pictures of his belts, certificates; pictures of him training others (which would also serve of proof that he has friends and show him in a position of authority, which he'd love) but no....not a single picture; just a handful of tweets...

However, as a counter to this argument - Patrick never lies. So I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he is indeed Mama Raven's special little ninjitsu warrior soldier.

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Really? That's very strange, because he documents every single moment of his life in agonising detail.

The other thing that's missing is the half dozen or so half-marathons he's run. Remember how he used to brag about his times? The only one that shows up anywhere on the internet is the one @CarolMaxheinie found, in which he somehow missed two timing check points in a manner suggesting he's taken a short cut and cheated.

Also he was dressed like a fat guy who'd never exercised in his life, rugged up way too warm for the race; unlike everyone in the photos around him.

I can't imagine how angry they were at themselves for dressing appropriately.

Fatrick’s race/waddle also had photographers along the course. Their locations corresponded to the timing mats….those spots on the course usually have power and race officials so the photogs line up there and take pics of each participant. Fatty isn’t in those.

He’s in a sad little photo where he’s trying to jog the bases where the Brewers play. He has the horrible pics at the finish line where people are laughing at his retarded ass. Nothing in the middle. Makes you wonder how they missed such a giant target, but managed to get every other participant who finished at his same pathetic time.

 

[guest]

Best part of all this is the fact he documents everything he does, food, beers, scooter rides, changing his seat in his car, placing a few patio stones, but he draws the line at displaying a picture of him "training" in anything, running, weights, combat sports, whatever. His excuse, because he "doesn't owe us" a picture. Apparently we're owed pictures and videos of seat changes and geese though. He wants us in the dark on his physical exercise, so much show he boasts of it regularly, but skips the pictures. He even stealthily hides it by wearing a fat suit 24 hours a day to throw us off. This guy is the real life "Confession of a Dangerous Mind" and very fat too.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

Really? That's very strange, because he documents every single moment of his life in agonising detail.

The other thing that's missing is the half dozen or so half-marathons he's run. Remember how he used to brag about his times? The only one that shows up anywhere on the internet is the one @CarolMaxheinie found, in which he somehow missed two timing check points in a manner suggesting he's taken a short cut and cheated.

Also he was dressed like a fat guy who'd never exercised in his life, rugged up way too warm for the race; unlike everyone in the photos around him.

I can't imagine how angry they were at themselves for dressing appropriately.

Still waiting for pics of the triathlons he was training for too. The thought of Pat wearing this is holocausting my ribs.

 

[guest]

Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.

 

[FurBurger]

I'd love to see a video of Fatrick doing box jumps, if anyone has one.

 

[TorqueWheeler]

I'd love to see a video of Fatrick doing box jumps, if anyone has one.

We haven’t even seen a photo of the boxes set up.

 

[Guyincognito]

I'd love to see a video of Fatrick doing box jumps, if anyone has one.

Why, so we can all get motion sickness?

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

Do you think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I'm wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.

HAHAHA. What species is that?

 

[CarolMaxheinie]

PaTrick, I believe in you. There’s a svelte athlete struggling beneath 150 pounds of adipose tissue in you.

You’ll never be attractive: some guys just aren’t. However, if you focus, train, sacrifice, and get off your piss-and-fart reeking couch, you too could have the confidence and swagger of the gelatinous land mammal pictured above. Right now, he’s WAY fitter than you, but you can get there! Go get it champ!!

 

[FLUUUID]

Holy shit. He also claimed to be a lifeguard? This dude is a 13 year old. Was he also in the green berets, but can’t tell us where he served because it’s still classified?

Don Portly

 

[AntsBatteryCharge]

Holy shit. He also claimed to be a lifeguard? This dude is a 13 year old. Was he also in the green berets, but can’t tell us where he served because it’s still classified?